the way it always happens

I can tell you are pulling away.

you're probably blaming me.

but make no mistake. it's you.

we were the best of friends

but now that your divorce is 

almost final, you seem to be

changing 

in ways I don't approve of.

you're making new rules

and making it hard to get the girls together.

your daughter should not be 

missing out on time with her friends because you 

are too lonely when she is not there.

so in essence you are ruining two friendships.

I am sorry I have a full time job

and can't spend all my time off with you

but grown-ups do what they need to

to make sure the family is taken care of

and I still have my mariiage to think about.

Fear

I usually just nod my head and pretend to listen.

Some points are good.

But overall, I could care less.

Why must you insistently bring up this topic over and over again.

I don't care what the politicians say.

I don't care what science research says.

I don't care what the media says.

I just know that we have children, and that they are the most important people in my life. And whether you believe it or not, what you do affects them. And hiding out in the garage is not always going to work.

I just wish you weren't going back to the way you used to be.

Sometimes I wonder if you have grown up at all.

Is it love or Memorex?

Love is a funny thing. When you're a kid you're not sure what love is, you may confuse lust for love or even like for love. You watch a lot of movies that show you what it should be - from a directors and writers point of view but the movies only confuse you more....... And the worst part is that when you're an adult - It doesn't get any better.

Thankfully, there are well-paid analysts that explain that we're not "really in love" it's only our insecurities that make us "want to be in love" so we make poor choices or even cheat on our spouse when the things at home are getting tough.

And the truth is that my insecurities have made me make poor choices and cheat on my spouse when things got tough. They also made me get really jealous when I didn't have a right to be and some other things that make for good blogging material.

If nothing else, at least I've learned that you can't depend on other people for your happiness. You've only got yourself.

This is good advice, but it can also get you into the same trouble that Pee Wee Herman had when he found himself arrested in a Florida smut theater.

Your Humble Servant,

Mr. X

I am in love with my best guy friend
I even think he is the reason I finally left my husband
I slept with him for the 1st time last night
even though I know the feelings arent mutual
I dont know where this is going
but it feels good to get it out
I love him
but dont know why
isnt that always the case?

Hello

This blog was set up for anyone to vent those things they can't say on their own blogs for one reason or another. I know there have been times I've wanted to say something, but didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings in the process.

If you come across this blog and would like to vent or just put your thoughts to paper anonymously, please feel free to email me (freetowritefromtheinsideout@yahoo.com) and I will gladly share the password with you.

Here's to healing from the inside out.